What is Wrong With You!

I just don't get it. Why, oh why would you guys willingly get into a bathtub? Why do you let my mom trim your nails? There has got to be something wrong with you. Especially you, Colby, handing my mom your paws like, "do this one now, thank you," you wuss. Do you really think my mom will love you more because of this? Do you think she'll love you more than she loves me? Let me show you how this is done. When she calls me, I run to my blanket and cower, poor, poor me, (nothing has ever happened, but I've got to lay on the guilt) then she says "Cyrus, get up, we're taking a bath.” I slowly walk into the tub, expressing as much hate as possible, so mom knows I really don't want to do this. Then, I stand, motionless, like if I move, I'll melt or something. Then, when it's time for the dreaded nail trim, I need to pull my feet away, dance, and put all my weight on the foot mom is trying to cut. Are you guys taking notes? I don't see anyone paying attention to me. Do you really enjoy this or something? Could that be possible? You guys just don't get it. Unbelievable.